Have you noticed the cooler temperatures? Suddenly we’re wearing warmer clothes, turning on the heat, adding a blanket on our bed at night, switching from sandals to closed shoes and even wearing a jacket! As we wrap up October and head into November, the Fall weather is fully present, and maybe you’ve busted out some soups and heated up some apple cider to celebrate the weather cool down.
We also tend to go inside more since it can be chilly outside. As we shift to being more indoors, it’s also a good time to think about our own interior—what’s in our soul. Generally, it can be a struggle for us to look objectively at what is in our soul. To that end, how we respond to external things can often give a helpful and honest look into what’s going on inside of us, like a soul inventory.
In thinking about this, let’s look at Sarah, Abraham’s wife, as a helpful example of some soul inventory. There are some insightful occasions when we can see some of Sarah’s interior by what she says and does. First, let’s consider how she behaves when her servant, Hagar, gets pregnant by her husband, Abraham. If you read Genesis 16:4, you’ll see that Hagar did not treat Sarah well after becoming pregnant. I suspect that Hagar was unkind and poked at the very tender spot in Sarah’s heart related to her inability to conceive.
As this seems to be a normal thing among us humans, Sarah repays Hagar’s ugly treatment with her own version of ugly. After complaining to Abraham about Hagar, we read that Sarah treated Hagar so harshly that she fled into the wilderness, despite being pregnant. Clearly, there was plenty interior ugliness happening between these two women.
But I don’t think Sarah had to repay Hagar like that. Of course she was hurt by Hagar’s actions and words, but Sarah could have made different choices.
A similar scenario plays out again in Genesis 21, when Hagar’s son, Ishmael, mocks Sarah’s son, Isaac. Again, Sarah was tolerating no ugly treatment toward her son and complained to Abraham. Despite Abraham’s objections, Hagar and Ishmael were sent away from the provision and protection afforded from staying with Abraham, Sarah and Isaac.
In both of these situations, Sarah chose to let the pain and ugly in her soul get the upper hand with her words and actions. Sarah chose to be ugly and mean on two occasions, excluding Hagar and Ishmael from any resources or support. Because of the darkness in Sarah’s soul, a single mom and her son were forced to leave their home and figure out some kind of life and future for themselves.
Clearly, these very tragic experiences were rooted in Sarah’s ugly and dark interior. The truth of the matter, however, is that Sarah was very much as human as we are today. And the ugly in Sarah’s soul wasn’t really any different than lots of similar ugly in our soul. However, just because we have darkness in our soul doesn’t mean we have to act on that darkness. Every one of us will have opportunities to let the ugly in our soul shape our decisions and our words, or we can choose to forego the darkness and make choices that reflect light, life and love. Let’s make wise choices for life and love rather than ugly reactions for punishment and revenge!
